2. Family - (3). What is the Spousal Relationship? - 1). How to Discern Marriage Relationships

(3). What is the Spousal Relationship?
- 1). How to Discern Marriage Relationships

 

 

①. Marriage Aligned with the Purpose of Life

  To understand the fundamental reason for marriage, we must first comprehend why we were born on Earth. To start with the conclusion, we have come to Earth with a mission in life. Each of us has a path that we must live in alignment with, and we are here to study and live that path correctly in order to truly live our own lives. This cannot be achieved with only the “yang” energy.

“What, then, is the mission we received when coming to Earth?”

“What is my life’s path?”

  The reason for living is to manifest one’s philosophy. The fundamental purpose of receiving a human body and living life on Earth is to establish one’s philosophy and manifest it before returning. Establishing one’s philosophy correctly is what we call education. Life goals like “I’ll gather a lot of money before I leave” or “I’ll work hard in soccer to become world number one” are not philosophies.

  Living life and leaving meaningful lessons for those you meet along the way—this is what philosophy is. This should become the standard by which you cultivate yourself as you live. Cultivating this philosophy is what education should truly aim for. Learning to read, studying mathematics, or mastering foreign languages are tools for communicating with the connections you will encounter in life. These are merely one aspect of education and do not constitute the whole of it.

  In summary, life’s purpose is to establish one’s philosophy correctly and share it with as many people as possible before leaving. Only when this purpose is achieved can we truly experience happiness because the purpose of life has been fulfilled. The “happiness” we often refer to in daily life isn’t true happiness—it’s merely a sense of pleasure.

“The steak tastes so good! I’m happy.”

  This isn’t happiness; it’s pleasure. Pleasure comes and goes, but when you live your life correctly and truly reach happiness, it doesn’t fluctuate. Instead, you continually become happier every single day.

 

 

 

②. Standard for Choosing a Marriage Partner

 

  Let’s return to the topic of marriage. What is the most important thing to consider when choosing a partner? Just one thing: whether this person’s philosophy aligns with yours. For this reason, you must clearly understand your own capabilities and position. If your potential partner is someone who studies and strives for growth, you too must continue to grow and study to match this person. If you simply settle and make no effort to grow while your partner continues to improve, you will inevitably face neglect, hurt, and rejection. This is because the natural law operates according to the principle of balance and energy.

  The natural world provides potential marriage connections, but it is up to us as individuals to meet these opportunities correctly and make decisions. Depending on your level of maturity and capability, you might recognize and choose a good partner or mistakenly select someone unsuitable. Once you decide, “I will marry this person,” the natural world will stop sending additional marriage prospects. However, if you haven’t made a decision yet, the natural world will continue to send other potential partners. This is based on the karmic law of connections, which keeps bringing you relationships bound by past obligations.

  Marriage happens because partners meet to resolve their karmic debts. You meet your spouse because you owe them something according to universal principles. Among the potential “debtor” connections, the natural world presents you with options that make it easier for you to repay these debts. If you choose someone with whom the debt is manageable, then your life together becomes a way of repaying and dissolving this karmic obligation. The same applies to your partner.

  However, if you enter a relationship seeking to benefit from the other person while you are still in debt, you only incur more obligations. This is fundamentally flawed and will result in pain, tears, and hardship for both parties. Similarly, if you greedily pursue someone whose level or qualities are far beyond your own, you will suffer heartbreak and tears, forced to release your unearned attachment in the end. The tears you shed are not to be pitied—they are the natural consequence of your own greed. Without putting in the effort to develop yourself, clinging to someone extraordinary will only lead to greater trials and suffering.

  When deciding on a spouse, ask yourself: “Can I live for this person? Am I sufficiently prepared to support them?” This should come first—not questions about how much money they have or how much their status can benefit you. Marriages built on these calculations will lead to deep emotional scars and separation 100% of the time. Instead, ask whether you have the ability and readiness to align with this person’s ideals and philosophy. If the answer is no, you should not proceed with marriage. Rejecting such a match will prompt the natural world to provide you with a more suitable partner.

  As long as you haven’t made a decision, new opportunities will continue to arise, no matter how many prospects you’ve seen or how old you are. However, once you’ve chosen a partner, new proposals will naturally cease. This is because the natural world creates environments for you to work through your karma with the partner you’ve chosen.

  We often make poor marriage decisions because we fail to understand these principles and evaluate people based solely on appearances or external attributes. A lack of knowledge about how to “interview” potential spouses also leads to mistakes. You must assess not only the other person’s character and capabilities but also your own readiness to live for them. Judging by wealth or status alone is a surefire way to invite hardship. If you build your life on such shallow criteria, you’ll find yourself starting over after years of struggle.

  When evaluating a potential spouse, look beyond their exterior. Focus on their values, goals, and what kind of life they aim to live. Can you align with their vision and grow alongside them?

  Another consideration is when the potential partner has aspirations and a philosophy that surpass your own. Since marriage typically happens in one’s 20s or 30s, it’s crucial not to judge the person solely based on their present self. Consider who they are becoming and whether they are diligently studying and striving for their life’s purpose. You must also be prepared to grow and match their efforts. Failing to do so will result in a relationship where you become a burden, causing mutual pain and eventual separation.

  This principle is reflected in the Korean saying, “Beautiful faces often endure hard lives.” Beautiful people may receive attention without effort, leading them to neglect the development of their inner selves. Marriage based on appearance often results in unmet expectations, conflict, and loneliness later in life.

  Good communication is the cornerstone of a healthy marriage. If spouses can communicate effectively, all other aspects, such as finances, will naturally follow. On the other hand, couples with poor communication must identify and address the root of their issues. Even if you don’t fully understand your partner at first, making an effort to smile and empathize is a step toward enhancing your life together.

  Marriage must have clear purpose and justification. Ask yourself: “Why am I getting married?”

“Is it because I’m lonely?” “Is it because I need support?”

  If the answer aligns with these reasons, it’s likely your marriage will face difficulties. Marriage is a relationship where mutual support and obligation dissolve past debts, not where self-serving motives thrive. Before deciding, confirm that your values and vision align and that you can genuinely contribute to your partner’s life. Similarly, make sure your partner understands the responsibilities and purpose of marriage. Honest discussions about these matters are essential.

  In today’s age of knowledge, the purpose of marriage differs from past eras when procreation and family lineage were primary goals. Now, it is about living purposefully and fulfilling one’s duties to others. Whether your contribution is to an individual, a community, a nation, or humanity, the focus is on mutual support and shared growth. Marrying simply to raise children or alleviate loneliness is no longer aligned with modern values and will likely lead to separation.

  Marriage decisions require careful consideration and at least three years of getting to know each other. Rushing into marriage after just a year often leads to regret.

 

 

 

③. Marriage Principles in the Hu-Cheon Era

  In the Hu-Cheon Era, where cosmic balance is directly orchestrated by the heavens, the principles of power and control, once prevalent among humans, no longer apply. Since 2013, the natural laws have shifted, gradually diminishing the influence of such power dynamics. This signifies the end of an era where those with wealth and strength could dominate or control others who lacked them, forcing compliance. That world is now over.

  This shift applies equally to marriage. In the Hu-Cheon Era, relationships should be about mutual growth and support, not dominance. If you attempt to control your partner through superior strength or resources, the relationship will deteriorate, and you’ll find yourself isolated. While the Era of Former Heaven allowed such dynamics to drive development, the current era demands collaboration and mutual respect as the baseline. If you persist in forcing relationships through dominance, whether as an individual, company, or organization, failure is inevitable. In this new era, your life’s value depends on how much you live for others. Only by fulfilling your role for others can you achieve genuine joy, satisfaction, and happiness.

  The most ideal marriage in this era is one where communication flows naturally, partners help each other, and both fulfill their respective purposes in life. Such couples form a team that practices the philosophy of living for others (“Hongik” philosophy). These couples never separate, grow closer over time, and ultimately earn recognition from the natural order as true partners.

  When such recognition is achieved, mutual understanding becomes second nature. Words become unnecessary, as partners can intuitively sense each other’s needs with a single glance. This level of unity, known as “one-heartedness,” earns them recognition as a true couple even beyond death. This unity is the result of significant time and effort invested in mutual growth and understanding.

  Human beings never abandon those who respect them. This is the nature of humanity. Unlike animals, which can be controlled entirely through physical needs like food, humans require respect for their spiritual essence. While someone might temporarily follow due to a lack of power, they will leave as soon as they gain independence. Conversely, humans are willing to sacrifice everything, even their lives, for those who genuinely respect them.

  If, however, one partner belittles the other, the relationship will inevitably drift apart. They may continue living together due to material dependence, societal expectations, or fear of loneliness, but their hearts will have long since parted. Without individual self-reflection and effort to realign with natural principles, no positive change will occur. This is the uncompromising reality of the Era of Later Heaven. In this era, we must adopt values aligned with these principles to build successful marriages and meaningful lives.

  To marry in the Hu-Cheon Era, you must find someone who benefits from your presence. Marriage is a significant decision with cosmic consequences, so it must be approached with great caution. Assess whether you have positively influenced the person you’re considering. This evaluation focuses not on how much the person has benefited you but on how much you have helped them. If you determine that you’ve positively impacted their life, they may belong on your list of potential partners.

  What does it mean to benefit someone? It is not about providing financial security but rather offering valuable words and support that contribute to their growth. Through open discussions and meaningful exchanges, mutual benefit becomes evident, leading to deeper connections. If the bond strengthens beyond your existing familial ties, it may indicate potential for marriage.

  When you find a match where at least 30% of your values align, this can be seen as a positive signal for marriage. With effort, these values can align up to 70% after marriage, indicating a truly compatible partner. The primary consideration is not wealth but whether the partnership fosters mutual growth and shared purpose. Marriages based solely on financial conditions or status are doomed to fail, leading to separation and significant emotional and life setbacks.

  We live in an age where life expectancy can exceed 100 years. Wasting precious time on mismatched relationships can be a devastating loss. By studying and preparing diligently, we can ensure our lives and marriages are purposeful, aligned with our life missions, and ultimately fulfilling.

 

 

 

Summary

  Marriage in the Era of Later Heaven centers on choosing a partner whose philosophy and life purpose align with yours. The focus shifts away from superficial attributes like appearance, wealth, or status to mutual growth, shared purpose, and alignment of values. A marriage rooted in the principles of mutual benefit and respect, guided by communication and understanding, fosters happiness and fulfills life’s purpose. Modern marriage requires careful deliberation and a commitment to shared growth, emphasizing the importance of alignment in philosophy and life goals over material considerations.

 

 

 

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