1. Law of Relationships - (4). Methods for Properly Handling Relationships
(4) How to Properly Handle Relationships
1). Methods for Properly Handling Relationships
Building good relationships begins with listening to others. Maintaining those relationships also involves listening well. If you find it difficult to truly listen to others, it means you lack the skill to do so. Properly listening to someone is the key to maintaining a relationship, and by doing so, the other person will not leave you.
If you speak first without being asked, it is considered interference from nature's perspective. If you share your knowledge unasked, it’s not genuinely for the other person’s benefit but rather an act of showing off. We are all knowledgeable individuals living in the present era, and since we are on equal footing, people enjoy sharing their experiences. However, they dislike it when someone tries to teach them things they didn’t ask about.
Why is this the case? We all acquire knowledge and store it in our subconscious as our own set of principles, filtering out anything that doesn't align with what we already know. However, if we are genuinely curious and ready to learn, we are open to listening, and at that moment, receiving the correct answer will allow that knowledge to reach our soul and help it grow.
To maintain close relationships, simply continue to listen attentively and with a smile. By focusing on listening well and receiving what the other person shares, you will naturally fill in your own gaps because everyone has different strengths. This is how listening well can help you grow.
The principles of relationships apply not only in social settings but also within families. For example, when older parents talk to their adult children, once the children are over 21, they should be treated as independent members of society, following the same principles. When children are between ages 0-7, parents have full authority to guide them. However, from ages 8-14, 30% of decisions should involve the child. From ages 15-21, 70% of decisions should be discussed with the child. Once they are over 21, all decisions should be made through 100% discussion. Ignoring this principle and trying to control or teach a child over the age of 21 without discussion is not handling that relationship properly, leading to the child becoming rebellious. As a result, when they enter society as adults, they may struggle to adapt, bringing difficulties and suffering back to the parents, ultimately turning them into adversaries.
No matter how old you are, you should not try to teach younger people just because they are young. This is not handling relationships correctly and will only push them away. However, listening to them and exchanging opinions will bring you closer. Do not underestimate young people simply because they are younger. They are the generation that holds upgraded knowledge suited to the current era. If you keep trying to teach them outdated knowledge from 20-30 years ago, they will perceive it as irrelevant and will distance themselves from you. Persisting in this behavior will only leave you isolated in old age, without friends, all as a result of your own actions. Being younger does not mean having lower capacity; in certain areas, they may surpass you. Treating them with respect according to the proper laws of relationships is crucial.
Conversely, if younger people disregard older generations simply because they cannot communicate well, they will miss out on valuable information held by their elders, thus hindering their own growth. By treating each other with the proper respect according to the laws of relationships, both sides can obtain what they need and grow together as one.
2). Definition of True Help
What does it mean to care for someone? What does it mean to help someone? These concepts vary in quality depending on the era, as each period has its own standards. In today's world, where knowledge is abundant, how do we truly help and care for others? In the past, giving someone a loaf of bread or a coat in winter was indeed a form of help. However, today, we live in a time where people possess the highest level of resources. Helping someone today does not simply mean giving them material goods or money. It reflects how much society, humanity, and individuals have progressed. In this era, true care for someone involves sharing meaningful words that can guide them. If someone is knowledgeable but feels lost in life, a single word that helps them find their way can be the greatest help you can offer. By engaging in such meaningful conversations with those you meet, everything can naturally fall into place, yet many are unaware of this.
You must live to the fullest of your capabilities with the energy you have today. Strive to be a source of strength for those you meet, making yourself someone they can rely on. Living a life of virtue is not about trying to care for others in a superficial way but having a sincere heart that respects the value of relationships. When you have this mindset, the right methods will come to you naturally.
Even if you have abundant resources, simply giving money to someone in need is not considered true help by nature. The reason someone is facing difficulties is often because nature has placed them on that path for a reason. If you give them money without understanding the deeper principles, you may end up interfering with nature’s work. This could delay the correction of their bad habits, ultimately making things worse for both of you.
If you truly wish to help someone, you must first observe them closely, talk to them, and use your efforts thoughtfully to meet their specific needs. Only then will it truly help them. Taking the time and putting in the effort to guide someone down the right path is challenging, but simply giving them material aid is very easy. However, doing so can lead to unintended consequences, where you become the cause of their downfall, and they may even retaliate against you. If you negatively impact someone’s life, it will come back to harm you, as their actions affect society, and that disruptive energy will ultimately return to you. Even if you think you have lived well, if you have caused social disruption, you will inevitably bear the consequences.
If nature gives you a precious connection, you can cultivate it by being humble, showing sincere effort, and engaging in conversations gradually. This is what it means to truly care for someone. By treating relationships properly, nature will send you even better connections, enriching your life further.
Summary
The proper way to handle relationships is by listening attentively and respectfully without interfering. Building relationships requires maintaining a respectful attitude, whether it’s with younger generations or even with your own children. Helping others is not about giving material support but rather about guiding them with the right words when they need it most. True help requires careful observation and genuine effort to assist others. By treating relationships as precious and handling them with care, nature will send you better connections, allowing for greater mutual growth.